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November 14, 2007

Whatever, go ahead (sigh)

I found the following in my inbox today, and it's about the fifth time I've read this:

Nine words women use...

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

I was encouraged to pass this along to all the men I know, so that they can improve their vocabulary, and all the women I know, because we'll all laugh at how true it is. Well, it's not.

First of all, guys: you don't get to whine that "all girls do is talk about their feelings" and that "girls don't tell you how they feel; they just tell you nothing's wrong". It's one or the other.

Secondly, I think any guy who does take this seriously has either had some very bad experiences or is just completely paranoid. If I say I'm fine, I'm fine. Not fantastic, because I'll tell you if I'm doing fantastic, but fine. If I'm mad at someone, I'm very clear about that.

Thirdly, an excellent way to see just how clear I am about my anger, is to tell me you're fine and then just expect me to understand that you're not. If people - male or female - insist on sending mixed signals and sighing instead of telling me what their problem is, then I will generally interpret the situation according to how I feel. No clear complaints = you don't care = I make whatever decision has to be made.

And lastly, I know I'm taking this way too seriously, but it's one of many, many examples of "This is how men think; this is how women think" that makes me think: "OK, what is wrong with me?" Because according to all these theories, I clearly don't think like a woman. And I am not fine or OK with anyone telling me that.

Posted by Julie at November 14, 2007 4:43 PM

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dette var på langt nær så sint som jeg trodde det skulle være. men det kan jo ha noe å gjøre med at jeg har tenkt igjennom disse tingene selv for lenge siden, og konkludert med noen lunde det samme. ;)

Posted by: Heidi at November 15, 2007 4:39 PM

There seems to be only one solution- you're a man!

Posted by: Anna at November 21, 2007 3:12 PM